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Good things are best enjoyed with a still and quieted soul. If not, the soul seeks these good things to have it stilled and quieted but is left empty because the only one who can satisfy us at that capacity is God and the realization of who He is. To love, to sing, to dance, to laugh or to just sit there and be. All these things, when enjoyed with a heart that has been captivated by the Lord, can be enjoyed to the fullest because our hearts are still. It knows that God is God. And because we no longer seek these things to fill us up, they fall back into their proper place; as a tool to allow us to further see His glory and enjoy His goodness.
(via notdefinedbytheworld)

My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. (Psalm 131:1, 2 NIV)

The layers are peeling back…

I am coming to understand that I cannot rely on a church or community to fulfill my needs of companionship and support. All things are transient, passing, temporary. People who are in my life at will not always be there. Seasons come and seasons go.

Perhaps my discontentment and pain this whole time was expecting that a person or church family would fill those needs.

But what now that I live far away? What now that I have been placed in isolation and separated from community? What of my prayer for a spiritual mentor? At the end of the day, what’s my answer when nothing comes to pass? How can I continue to lie to myself when I leave feeling dissatisfied? Do I continue to desire what I do not have or do I reevaluate my expectations? 

Neither can I ascribe any meaning to my life based on accomplishment or a life goal. All of it is passing, and the legacy of both men both great and poor fade away into nothingness. Even those we remember in history we recall based on an image or interpretation of their life, we will never know who they really were. 

All joyful experiences come to an end, the end of all men is death. We smile, we laugh and keep busy, but behind it is a mask of denial and distraction we create to avoid facing the horrifying, looming specter of meaninglessness. It’s comical madness that we were created with a desire for meaning yet we are born in such a world where everything seems so meaningless. Then again, what man can even understand objective purpose assigned to his own life? What man can even truthfully define what satisfies him? 

The only one who will always be there is God. He is the only one that can satisfy us; He is the only one who even knows our own intimate definition of satisfaction.  Outside of Him there is no meaning, there is no purpose, there is no hope, there is no life. Accomplishment and success brings only temporary joy. The companionship of others is fleeting. They’re all just shadows of what we long for but can never find. How tortured an existence we would live if it were not for the sometimes faint but never far, always present light of God. The first step to satisfaction is recognizing its source. 

I will live in the fullness of today, and though life is serious I will not take it too seriously. I must adapt new mindsets for the season at hand. I will cast off fear and burden, and live obedience from my identity without needing to strive.

For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. (Col 1:19-20)

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